Sunday, July 15, 2012

WANTED: Best Friend

When I was, I think, 4 to 6 years old, my mom asked me who my best friend was.  I blurted out the name of the popular girl in school.  Mommy asked why, I said it's because she's the daughter of one of the members of the faculty.  Then, my mom said I should have a different best friend: Jesus.

Okay, I'm all for that Jesus-Is-My-Best-friend part, but I think that if the option is limited to mere human beings, you really need one.  Although I might have already lost a majority of the readers after that last paragraph. Hahahahahaha!

I "tried" to be the best friend of the popular girl, but I guess she's just too popular for me or I just think I'm more popular than her.  Ha!  Or maybe what my mother said got stuck.  I guess, I'll never know.

Then, during the first part of grade school, I early on lost myself, even if I'm not sure if I was able to find myself in the first place.  Well, do you really know yourself when you're eight?  Too bad, it was not the case for me.  The people I call friends are questionable even to me simply because I was everyone's friend, even if I know this person doesn't even like this other person and both are my best friends.  So, I guess, talking behind someone's back was developed by this stage with the help of the need of having a best friend.

Moving out did not really help in my quest of having a best friend, or so I thought.  But it sure did help in having a clean slate and opening a lot of opportunities of finding one.  That's why I was beyond thrilled when I found 3!  I had three.. and they were sort of my world.  After I got over myself, of course.

Then, high school happened.  One by one we grew apart.  Until we think we don't know each other anymore.  Although, I know in the back of our heads, at the bottom of our hearts, we will have this special thing going on...

And before I knew it, I have 7 best friends!  Although, college made it fast and short.  Some things run deeper over time.. and only time was able to tell.

And somehow, growing up once more managed to mess things up.. or at the least, shed a different light on the best friend I want to have..

Maybe I guess, it's too late to have a new best friend if you didn't have one, a real one, at the age of 8.  And my last resort, my last hope, was finding one in my life partner..  Ideal, but not entirely a good idea.  Especially, if you're not treated to be one.. and worse if they never knew.


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